Sunday, June 26, 2011

i've been hurt before: but never like this

CHANGE! i'm probably going through the biggest change in my life right now. i have to pack up the place that i was born, raised and loved in. the place i helped build with my own hands, the place i became a part of. anyone can leave a house, but it's leaving a home that's the hardest part. in packing up, i'm finding things i'd thought i'd forgotten - memories i'd buried, scars i'd tried to heal on my own, people i'd swore i'd forget. it's all raw emotion, all at once, no sympathy.

then again, change is supposed to be good, right? a fresh start?

if you asked me last year where i saw myself in a year, i would tell you straight away that this wasn't it. everything i am right now is nothing like i thought it would have been. the way things are in general are nothing like i thought they would be. to see people i couldn't live without last year walk away and become strangers, to see people that were once strangers mean more than the world to me. seeing time fly in the blink of an eye and feeling like nothing changes - feeling like everything has stayed the same throughout these days, yet looking back at where i was around this time last year, and everything different. it only makes me wonder about next year.

but no matter what happens, how things change, chin up ..
everything will be okay

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